21 Days Makes a Habit

That's what we're told, anyway. Twenty one days, and you're in the clear. That's probably an overstatement, but it is getting easier to make the right choices. I'm not really missing booze, I've dropped seven pounds, and it feels like I've made a change for the better. The workouts are regular and the diet is pretty good. I haven't even opened the liquor cabinet since I started this and there's a cold beer still in the fridge.

I still don't question my food choices enough. When I'm hungry or enjoying the taste of a meal, I have zilch in the will power department. Animal hunger or the evil part of my brain has changed tactics, but I eat before a meal and then during the meal. When I'm eating, I can't seem to direct myself to the better portions on the plate. Instead of finishing the meat or veggies, I'll eat the rest of the rice. Those barbequed potatoes with melted cheese definately dissapear.

Well, a new goal now. Not as glamorous as the booze, but just as tough. I need to ask if what I'm eating is right and I should just deal with hunger until the meal is ready.

It's been two weeks. Isn't that a song?

Well, here I am, two weeks into this. I can't say that I overly feel better on a day to day basis. I'm working out, eating healthier, drinking lots of water, and staying off the booze. Nothing monumental yet, but whatever, I know it's better for me.

I'm getting philosophical about the drinking. And wondering.

Understanding society's view on alcohol is coming. Every "good" time involves it. A LOT of my funny stories start with "so I had a couple of Jack Daniel's". Having something to blame for a loss of inhibition is great. Do a couple of dumb things and you've got a funny story to tell the next day. Not that any of this is new to most of us.

The pressure around drinking is, so far, from me more than anyone else. Social situations have included alcohol for a couple of decades or so. Now I'm having to rely on my great personality. Good thing there's plenty of that. ;)

This hasn't been as hard as I thought really. It was just a choice I made. I've thought about putting some sort of end to it. The summer barbecue, football season, winning a bar fridge full of beer, dropping below two hundred pounds, or some other significant event, but I'm not really a big fan of dates.

I understand the need for goals and all, but putting some sort of time frame on this may actually increase the pressure. Right now I don't have to say, "Just one more month." or, "Only ten more pounds." Instead, it's, "Is this the best choice I can make?" A healthier question physically and especially mentally.

Long Weekend

Well, a four day trip to Edmonton and all is well.

I was very aware of how often I would drink on a past weekend. Basically every meal except breakfast. That's because they had a continental breakfast and ddin't offer beer, something about liquor laws, I suppose.

Seriously, though, we arrived back in Saskatoon on budget speciffically because I didn't drink. It was kind of freeing in a way. I'm finding myself free to break convention and not drink. Let's face it, it's a cultural thing, always has been. If we get some down time, we've got a drink in our hand.

I'm understanding that now and am a little ashamed of the way I would banter at someone who wasn't drinking. Mostly because I'm preparing for some verbal abuse at the hands of my friends when I order an orange juice neat. Kharma, perhaps?

Test No. 1

So, I'm building a deck with Wayne for a friend of a friend. When we're just about done, another firefighter shows up, beer in hand. He offers me one and I tell him I'm "off the sauce". He asks for how long. I don't get my answer out and he asks a second question, "Two days?" Wayne laughs, because it's been, that's right, two days.

Apparently the first two days are the easiest.

Clarity blurs a little.

7:30 am

That's when the evil part of my brain woke up. Walking home from the dealership, my evil gray matter decides to try to outflank this newfound clarity with some negotiations. "Okay, you can have a couple of drinks on the weekend." or "Have a JD when you're out with the guys." This sounds fairly reasonable. Ummmm.... no.

So, a battle won and a successful day. And after a good night's sleep, I'm ready for day two. Although this niacin rush I'm getting from my B complex vitamin is going to require I finish my orange juice outside. HOOOOO WEEEE.